Guest Etiquette: Your Ultimate Guide

We all learned our manners as children…at least, I hope we all did. But if you need a refresher on guest etiquette, you’ve come to the right place!⁠ Read on as we break down all the “dos” and “don’ts” so you can be the ultimate guest!

Information

Hosts put a lot of thought and time into what exactly is communicated to their guests. Be sure to check the website, invitation and other communicated details before asking questions. And to that end, make sure you plan ahead and review all info long before the week of the event, so you’re not bothering the host when they’re at their most stressed.

Attire Etiquette

While being overdressed may not be that big a deal, showing up underdressed certainly is. If you have questions about what a dress code entails, better to ask the planner earlier rather than later.⁠

Want to fit in with the event’s color palette? Assume that the invitation serves as part of the theme or aesthetic for the event. If the suite is navy and gold, the bridesmaids’ dresses are likely navy. Take that as a sign to stick within the same family of colors, but try not to match the primary design detail. The time of year affects your choice too. If you’re attending a fall wedding, think darker tones in a variety of lengths and styles. A spring wedding in the tropics? Flowy dresses and linen suits are likely appropriate. Check out our Fall Wedding Attire blog post for inspo and links to our favorites!

And of course, when attending a wedding, always avoid white or similar colors (like silver or champagne) unless specifically asked to wear those tones. Seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how often we see this major faux pas.

RSVP Etiquette

An RSVP seems simple enough, but you’d be surprised how many guests forget, ignore, or try to rewrite the rules. Some friendly reminders when it comes to RSVPs…

1. Pay attention to “RSVP by” and hotel block “book by” dates — don’t be “that guy” who we have to chase down a couple weeks before the event. Invitations are sent with more than enough time to respond, and even if yours arrives late, you got the Save the Date months ago! We get it, things come up. But waiting until the last minute is a massive headache for the host. Do them a favor and reply promptly.⁠
2. Make sure you fill out your RSVP card correctly! Include your name, your plus-one or family members’ names (if applicable), meal selection(s), allergies or dietary restrictions, and which events you’ll be attending.⁠
3. Speaking of plus ones — we’ve said it before and we’ll say it again — unless your invitation EXPLICITLY lists your spouse, significant other, or “Guest,” it is NOT okay to ask if you can bring someone! Even one extra attendee affects venue capacity, costs, and seating plans and adds unneeded stress in that final stretch.⁠
4. Have last-minute changes or can’t make it? Just communicate your changes clearly and succinctly. No need to give the full “why” behind it. The host is highly focused on their upcoming event and adding unnecessary stress isn’t a great way to be a guest.

Just do it! Enough said.

The Event

So you’ve RSVP’d correctly and dressed appropriately — now the event is here and it’s time to party! But etiquette still applies when the fun starts.

When attending a wedding or other strictly scheduled event, plan to arrive early. Give yourself a buffer for unexpected hiccups, especially if you’re visiting a venue or city for the first time. This will ensure you’re on the shuttle or arriving to the venue with plenty of time to take your seat and be fully present.⁠

Enjoy the celebrations and don’t be a nuisance — after all, someone spent a lot of time (and money!) curating the exact experience they wanted for their guests and for themselves. If you’re not a fan of red flowers, then don’t have them at your own event — there’s no reason to make that known to the host.

And of course…always keep it classy, folks. No one likes a party foul.⁠

Being a model guest is easier than you think. Communicate, read thoroughly, and use common sense. And when in doubt, ask the planner! We’ll make sure you’re on the right track so you’ll get invited back again and again!

XO,

Molly